Forever an eagle

AIB college of business was more than a school for me. It was a place where I could explore opportunity and escape the adversity and the hardships that struck the area of Detroit that I grew up in. It became a place where I made friends that eventually turned into my second family , I became engulfed in so many opportunities to explore and enjoy. I've had the pleasure of participating in athletics and concluding my basketball career here . I also have found the perfect job that will allow me to explore the possibilities and growth within a well known company . As the final days of this school are drawing near I want to take the time to remember all of the fond memories that I will cherish for a lifetime 

Reasons Why being Single is not such a Bad thing

Okay at the age of 21 now, I notice that many of my friends are in relationships, married, have children, all that good jazz. It sounds so wonderful that some of them have fallen for their high school sweethearts and have just been fortunate enough to find someone to ride or die for them. Then there are those like me, who are just about finished with college, who are working constantly, and are trying to find that time for a little relaxation. All of that on top of wrapping up what's left of my Undergraduate degree can create a serious overload in my schedule. That overload kind of prevents me from being able to have a relationship right at this very moment. In fact, I am so busy trying to build a solid foundation for my future that I have a serious difficulty with finding someone who can truly understand recognize how passionate of a woman I am and that I am becoming. So in the mean time I have created a list that can be changed or even add to, of ways to eliminate the feeling of Loneliness and also ways to occupy your single life while also making it enjoyable.

1. Binge watch your favorite movies and order some pizza and buy a few drinks and just relax. (YOU DESERVE IT)
2. Use this time to hang out with friends and Family!
3. Catch up on your favorite television shows.
4. Go for a walk in the park
5. Spend quality time with your loved ones (FAMILY AND FRIENDS)
6. Read a BOOK ( or Kindle for you high tech folks)
7. Take a long hot shower or soothing bubble bath.
8. Work out
9. When you sleep at night STRETCH COMPLETELY OUT take over the whole bed!! (hey once your in a serious relationship you no longer have that freedom)
10. Go to Church or at least read and maybe reread your BIBLE! (learn something)
11. Go to a SPA  (PAMPERED PRINCESS)
12. Try a New Sport
13. Go on a solo trip to a destination of your choice.
14. ENJOY your life while you are young


I cannot stress number 14 enough, that is the most important. If you do not enjoy your own company, how in the world do you expect someone else to. And above all learn to truly love yourself. All of these things and more can help you do just that. By find the time to have quality ME-time you can truly embrace just how wonderful and unique you are. And maybe one day you will be able to join the group of friends .

Inhale

Everything you are doing right now, He sees it. 

Your Reward is coming soon. All you need to do is be patient

Let HIM take the wheel. All of the hard work will pay off
The reward will be great

Culture Speaks for itself

It surprises me how concerned musicians have suddenly became aware of cultural appropriation. It is a fact that music changed immensely once Africans were brought to the United States during the dark period in our history. We were  the center piece for the introduction of several popular genre's of music: RnB, Hip Hop, Rock n' Roll, Pop, Blues, Gospel, Techno, Reggae,and many more. SO it is true to think that our influences would have an impact on the music world today and on other cultures.

Loving yourself

What's wrong with remembering what makes you smile?
What's wrong with having your expectations win the clouds?
What's wrong with having your standards unreachable for the average person?
What's wrong with putting yourself on a pedestal and wearing your crown with your head held high?
I see no problem with being proud of I have accomplished and will do.
I see no issue with keeping my worth and value relatively high.
It helps me to remember that I am just as important as the next person.

At this Age

I have seen and been through enough to write a series as long as the Harry Potter series, maybe even longer. Each book will be about different phases that I am going through in my life. I feel almost as if I were in limbo. Stuck in between wanting to be prideful and wanting to break down and just cry. How tempting is it to want to float back into the past when you have mentally prepared yourself for the future. You see yourself living comfortably, happy, and complete, but then you wonder just how you are supposed to get to that part. What road do I take? and how do I know if my destiny is set and stone

Satan is Satan

So the unveiling for the 9-foot statue in Detroit has happened over the weekend and I am completely lost with the explanations these believers and followers have for the reason the statue is okay to be out in the public eye.

They say that they do not worship the "Satan" that is thought of to be evil or related to the antagonist of Christ. However, my question is this even a rational statement. There is only one SATAN, he corresponds to another name that the Devil is referred to as . When a person considers the devil or Satan, they think of evil and temptations.

I understand that because of our constitution they have the right to place their "harmless" statue anywhere they please. but my question is where did the approval from this statue come from?

http://www.metrotimes.com/detroit/how-a-homeless-satanic-monument-wound-up-in-detroit/Content?oid=2357195#fromMobile

The City I call Home

http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/group-plans-unveil-statue-depicting-satan-detroit-32421508


I insert this link at the beginning of this post for you to have first hand knowledge about what is taking place in the city of Detroit. After watching several reports on both sides of the issue.

I am a Detroit Native. Born and raised in the motor city. And not on the nice pretty side either. I have seen first hand the "turmoil" and grief that this city has gone through. But I have also seen the triumph of this city. I have seen it breakthrough the odds and have phenomenal year. Aside from the headache that the economy has put them in.

This subject effects me in many ways:

1. Symbol of evil
2. Redefining Freedom of Religion
3. Fear
4. Last Resort.

Symbol of Evil


The original decision, was to place the statue in a very public spot in the city of Detroit for the entire public to see. Oklahoma and a few other states have rejected the statue. Since Detroit has been under siege from the economy, violence, and crime, the next biggest location was the city. But what exactly is problem?

The Satanic Symbol is promoting Evil. This country was founded upon the idea of being one nation under GOD. Although we do not recite the Pledge of Allegiance in schools anymore the feeling still lingers. By placing this statue  in the city, the idea will be completely contradictory.

The people participating in this worship or who support the placement of the statue, are stating that they oppose the Pledge of Allegiance what the main point of that speech is stating.

Redefining Freedom of Religion

The freedom of religion is defined in the First Amendment of our Constitution. Stating that you can freely and openly house your own form of worship as long as it does not interfere with the works or business of other people.

By accepting the placement of this statue, an uprising will transpire. Detroit citizens have already been proven to be restless when huge controversial events happen. The placement of this satanic symbol is going to be very similar. Similar to the feeling of Racism and Discrimination, the Satanic Symbol brings the feeling of fear.

Fear

The fear that will spring from the placement will not target the people that approves of the placement of this item. It will come from the meaning and what the common understanding of what it stands for. If we break down the statue we will understand that the Goat's head represents; witchcraft and scape goating. The entire statue is a called "Baphomet" or it is a replication of him. This represents an image or symbol of whom they worship, THE DEVIL, LUCFICER, or whomever, you refer to him as.

In movies, television, and music, that symbol is associated with pure evil. In those forms of media the symbol is thought to be an open symbol for possession. So my question remains,

What exactly is the point of placing this statue in the public eye?

LAST RESORT

 My answer is this, once again, Detroit has seen very bad times when it comes to crime and economy. It also to my understanding that other states have already rejected the statue and because this is the United States, we have to give those followers the freedom to have their religion. But it should not interfere with the "Norm" of the public and other religions. The Satanic Symbol has already been rejected by several states. So to conform to the requests of the followers the statue must be placed somewhere.

Detroit or the State of Michigan, already has the highest number of faithful followers for this religion. It was indeed the last resort for the placement of this statue.

Reassurance 

For the record I am not hypocritical, I am certain there are things that Christianity and other  religions do that are not entirely ethical, But our symbols are not the definition of evil. I simply believe that this symbol should be placed in an area that will not interfere with the norms of the majority, It should be placed inside a building dedicated to that religion and not out in the open.

Breathless

Impaired, my voice cannot stop trembling
I cannot even bair to move
A chest pump , that I might need
See me as I am, dream
Make me see that there iws more to life
Then the one I chose to live alone
Sometimes life takes a stand
Where the stand is only frozen still
But that is the only reason for me to have grown
Have I forgotten, what it feels like
To grasp for air when I hear you speak
Oxygen, is not nearly enough to keep this heart beating
to the rhythm your are playing with my mind
My words lost in the bubble of speech
Because they are stuck in the world
That is supposed to be right.
But you heard me, little ole me
You heard the voice, they is wrong.
You made my world bright even if the blind awoke with sight

How Can You?

Mind-games are child's play
They should be left in the blind side
Never play the role you are not prepared for
Although it is tempting

To think a heart is a toy
That you can place on the highest shelf
And hold when you please
Do not be my dream if you are not ready
Take back your kiss
If it will only bring back pain
To a world you once knew

Never tear the wings off the back of an angel
If you ask her to fly
Fly, solo, alone, and helpless
Crossing paths with what is right
Will always force you to choose wrong
Your mouth whispers lies
Only to shield your soul from the truth

But who are you to tell me I deserve much better
What if everything I prayed to the Lord for
Awaits behind your eyes
After all they are said to be the Window
To whatever is left of a soul.

How should I feel?'

There comes a time in life when you are placed at a cross-roads, a place where you have no idea where either one of those roads leads or where it will take you. For so long I have had my mind set on what I wanted in life that I almost forgot what I needed.

Water
Food
Shelter

I have all of that. But what about Maslow's Hierarchy of needs. The needs that are required for me to feel whole or better yet human. I can honestly say I am failing miserably at one of those things. that category is the Love and Belonging stage. I mean as far as my family and my friends I have more than enough. I can feel their support with every decision I make even if it is not the best. but then there is the question of how I can I possibly be failing when I the majority of the stage is filled?

Relationships, Relationships, RE LA TION SHIPS .  That word makes me filled with a ton of mixed emotions. Its almost as if I have been thrown into a maze and I am second guessing every decision I make. I know I have heard this a thousand and one times that I need to concentrate on me and what makes me happy. But what if what makes me happy is the fact that I know someone is their to truly watch me succeed, someone to make all my bad memories disappear as if they never existed. Someone to show me that there truly is a rainbow where the rain once was. That maybe if I let go of the past that I will be able to find true happiness.

But at this point as if I am just settling. Settling because I am afraid of hurting someones feelings, I am afraid of feeling as if I tore someone's world apart when my world was never whole to begin with. I am settling because I am afraid of walking this hard path to my destiny alone. Am I that defiant that I truly will not listen to the will of God. And understand that he has crafted the proper path for me to follow and be successful.

when one door closes another one opens

Up until this point, I have experienced rejection from a lot of companies that I really wanted to work for. I admired their marketing, internal communication, the atmosphere that each business has really captured may attention. As a graduating college student, the amount of experience that these companies are expecting seems almost impossible to meet due to the amount of time that has been available during my academic career.

I was able however to gain important assets during my time at school. I was able to learn the tools, basic and complex that are needed to truly understand my career. I have recently become successful and found an internship to add to my resume. I have a specific approach to the usage of an internship. I want it to be essential to truly having a hands on experience in the field.

Personal Statement

“Dreams are true, while they last, and do we not live in dreams?” (Alfred Lord Tennyson- 1869).

As a young child it is easy to dream of what you want to be and where you want to go during a lifetime. But once you’ve reached the age where that dreaming has to become a reality you must not sit still. As the conclusion of my academic career draws near, the best advice I can bestow upon anyone who reaches my portfolio is to never stop dreaming or better yet, NEVER BE LESS THEN YOUR DREAMS

And the Truth comes out

I remember all the events of my life, ALL OF THEM even the ones that I wish never happened. I remember my first friend, I remember the first day of school (elementary, middle, high school, and even college) I remember falling in love for the first time, I remember my first kiss, even my first time. All of those first led to so many other things. The hardest part is learning which of all your endeavors you want to relive, which to regret, and which to forget.
 The memories that serve a special meaning in my life. Like meeting my little brother for the first time or meeting my first roommate . Those are special times that still make me smile to this day. Although they were years ago, I still have a reason to keep them in the back of my mind. They are thoughts I intend to cherish for the rest of my life.

Aside from the good memories there are also those thoughts that I try to put and keep behind me. Everyone at some point and time goes through those reckless stages. Unfortunately, my reckless stage began my junior year in high school and ended my sophomore year of college. During that time, I thought that my body was the only way for guys to notice me or pay any attention to me.  At the time I thought it was the only way for me to be seen. I let guys take advantage of what I had to offer. I'll be even more brutally honest. I thought it was there way of showing their affection. However, I was wrong. They took my kindness for weakness. But who am i to point to the finger when I let it happen. I let them in. It became essentially an addiction. Almost like a drug. To the point where it seemed like there was no going back from it. And as a result I earned myself that "label". Every day I would look in the mirror and find myself questioning who I was. Was i the little girl that my parents tried to raise to be Godly, and respect and love her body? Or had I turned into a creature that was consumed in her own irrational obsession with the sensual side that made me human?

Even when I try to bury those hidden agendas deep in the past.They some how find ways to resurface. And just like everything that I do, good or bad, I will have to live with the decisions and choices that I make.

Web design Help

I am in need of help with my Portfolio website. I have my ideas fabricated on paper and in my mind but I cannot seem to get my ideas from paper and my head to Dreamweaver. i love the software do not get me wrong, but as far as the layout and composition goes I cannot seem to get things where I want them to go. I want to be original and not use a "Build-a-website" tool. I want to start physically from scratch and learn the material. I want to be able to put that I can use Dream Weaver and actually have a product to display for big businesses

The Title : TO BE DETERMINED

Content: 

• writing
• photography
• videography
• blogging (of course) :)
• my resume
• my contact info

I want my website to display my individuality and my personality all on one page.


IF ANYONE CAN ASSIST ME ! I WOULD APPRECIATE IT!!!

Open Mind

Staying composed and ordinary has always been an outlet of mine. But when my world and someone else's world come together there is a sort of negotiation that must take place. It is important to always remember to see eye to eye with some one even if it is not your first thought.

It has always been a priority of mind to keep a routine and keep the same rhythm of whatever I am doing constant. I consider my life like a river with a constant flow in a certain direction. Any change of breeze or alteration of movement can change the river's flow.

As an adult with hopes of continuing my life with another person, I have to open my eyes and heart and also allow them the chance to have their own voice and speak it freely. While in the back of my mind always remember my opinion matters just as much as the next person.

The Perfect One

A miracle in God's own creation
Someone Just for me
An image in my head, a memory in my imagination
To come and take me away from here and set me free

A demonic angel, someone to break the spell
A deep hole in my dreams
To cure me of all my heartache and make me well
But all so crazy as this may seem.

My deepest fear is that I may arise
And I will not hear your voice
But to my joy, my pride, what a surprise
An outstanding pristine choice

I am not being picky , or arrogant, or rude
I want to be completely and utterly sane
But mind my girlish and immature attitude
Because in reality I am transparent and plain

Until the day I waltz upon death and bones
I stay pure and angelic inside
But my heart is no longer full of love but yet stones
If you can't hear me, at least I tried

My dignity, my trust, are all long gone
I will search every mountain at its highest till dawn
My knees are going weak I can no longer stand
Hopefully you completely  understand

To my death bed walking, I will go
My talents, my desires, and my wants plan the way
Time moves not fast but ever so slow
Deep inside your heart I want to stay

Like Many people

I know there are alot of people who have dreams that wish would desperately come true. Just like those people so do I. I have dreams of being recognized as a writer. Not just someone who spills her thoughts on paper or on a computer screen but some one who actually has a great way of expressing her thoughts on paper. I have the ability to type a 3-page paper on any given topic in an hour. (with the proper research of course) I have the power to spill my heart and soul into everything that I write. Forgetting about the possibility of having grammatical errors, I have too much training for that. I have gone several schools where they require that I write efficiently but so that what I write makes sense. I think that I have taken that meaning to a whole other level. I'm the kind of girl that enjoys going to the library so much I have one overdue book that I almost forgot I had and that I owned. I spend more time at the library or writing than I do doing my own hair. I mean every time I lay my head down to sleep my head is spinning with different thoughts that I just have to get out on paper. I had someone ask me what type of writer I want to be and do you know what my response is, the one without any boundaries the kind that not only can express their thoughts freely but openly without any harsh opinion of others.

To be honest I dont even remember the first time I began taking writing seriously. Maybe it was the time that my teacher gave me my first 5- paragraph essay with the 5 sentences per paragraph rule and oh yeah dont for get to indent and captialize every letter that comes after a period. And please oh please no redundancies or fragments. What the heck is a fragment anyway? We speak in fragments therefore they should be acceptable to put on paper right??? Oh wait Im rambling but thats what it take to be a writer, Just ramble and keep rambling until those rambles become complete thoughts and sentences.

I don't know what annoys me more. When people say they dislike writing or when people say its too much or they prefer not to do it. How far do you expect to get in life with that attitude. You are going have to write for the rest of your life whether it be a simple text or signing your life away on a house or insurance you are still going to have to compose your thoughts. I try to take that nagging feeling most people consider it to be and transform it into a craft. I like to use words and make them beautifullllll! See even blogger tries to grammtically change what I say. Go Figure

Cry

When there is nothing but negativity in your mind at night the only thing you can do is cry, cry yourself to sleep. Forget counting sheep. Jus let every tear from every bad thought in your head jus fall, not a graceful fall but crash hard on your pillow. When your heart is beating so fast you can't catch the beat when you are so stressed u feel it in your feet when the pain is unbearable jus the thought makes u cringe forget that stupid lullaby and do yourself a favor and cry. Just cry till there's nothing left, no more sorrow or guilt cry because your out of years cry because you've seen through the years. All I'm asking is for my sleep back, not a dream just simply the ability to close my eyes and just breathe.

Remeber Who I am

If there is one thing i have learned it is to never forget who you are and who you are meant to be. Even if you feel that someone has the power to strip you of your hopes and dreams, those people will only have those powers if you allow them to.

For many years I have had serious dreams of moving to a nice upbeat city, living in a nice apartment, working at the best company, dressing to impress the world and making my parents and family proud of me. I have dreams of eventually writing my own story of writing my own autobiography about my life and sharing it with the world.

No matter how many stories I have read where men have always been the center piece in a woman's life I will always remember that my father, grandfather, and my brother will always be the main center piece in my life, I have to remember that know one can take their places and that I have to find someone to match the qualities my mother saw in my father.

Just like everyone I simply want the finer things in life. I want less stress and more progress. if that means cutting ties with sores and unimportant people to get what I wan then so be it. I know my worth and how hard I have worked to achieve it. By the age of 25 I want to have the blue print and foundation for my dreams already in place

Never perfect

Morning, noon, night , I am granted the opportunity to look at myself in a glass objects. Every moment that I do I receive the same sensation. I am happy. I feel as though I needed to give myself time to grow. As a young girl, I never thought that I was pretty or as the guys would say "cute". I was a bit above average because of my height. I have always towered over my peers and friends. For a moment I was thin with no shape.As a mature adult, I have developed my womenly parts that I felt were much needed a while ago and now I think i took them for granted. I thought they were toys meant for amusement. Wrong as I was, i let people take advantage of my gifts and made acquire talents that are shameful. I still look in the mirror. This time I am able to smile because my smile is not perfect, but special. Everytime, I feel it creep across my face,I know that everything will be fine. My eyes tell a different story. Depending on the circumstance each line they write has a flow to

Sometimes I wish

Sometimes I wish I didn't have a heart

Sometimes I wish I didn't care so much 

Sometimes I wish I couldn't cry

Sometimes I wish I was stronger than I show

Sometimes I wish my heart couldn't break

Sometimes I wish I wasn't alone

Sometimes I wish I didn't trust so easily

Sometimes I wish I didnt cry so much at night 

Sometimes I wish it didn't hurt so bad

Sometimes I wish someone truly loved me 

You Do not Deserve me

Heartbreak after heart break, tear after tear, scream after scream , I still manage to stand strong and tough. i still manage to see the bright side in things. Sometimes I wish i was not capable of always being positive. Sometimes I wish I could lash out and just loose it and not have people worry about me. Especially when it is necessary.
 I just do not understand how someone could honestly stab me in the back the way people have done to me. I am honestly the nicest most loyal person ever. I am true to my friends and those i consider to be more than that or have the potential to be. I just do not understand how any just person could take that small bit of kindness and take advantage of it like it means absolutely nothing.
I mean at this point in life I have high expectations of people acting like rational adults about situations that can easily be handled. Like if i am not what you want or I am not good enough tell me. Showing pure signs of disrespect is intolerable in my opinion. On the other hand it does help me develop thick skin and a wiser mentality about people. I refuse to be walked over or stepped on or used. I refuse to a convenience for anyone I have higher standards then that.
Once again, I accept an appology that is not pure or genuine or real. I accepted Satan before i opened my heart to the Lord.

Until my Prince comes

Now I am not one for sappy romances or fake fairy tales that wont come true, but I do still believe in falling in love. I believe in the butterflies in your stomach and getting all choked up inside. I believe in the love being true and pure and long lasting. I believe in feeling that your partner is willing to get to know you inside and out and truly understand the woman I am and who I am capable of becoming, I believe in that person who can be my support but not my crutch, someone I can really count on to always be there. Someone who believes in my dreams and believes in creating new ones. I believe in waking up to the most perfect smile God ever created every morning for the rest of life. I believe in getting married and always remembering the value and the honest true meaning of the word. I believe in sharing a child with him. I believe in raising our offspring side-by-side, spending every waking moment with our children, a boy or girl. until they are old enough to take care of themselves. I believe in seeing each other growing old and never truly losing the love that brought us together in the first place. I believe in writing and creating our own memories and making sure that thy will not be forgotten. That the story of our love will be passed on to our children so the feeling never dies. And when the day comes that God calls us to him, I still believe being put to rest 6 feet under right near your resting place.


I WILL BE WAITING UNTIL MY PRINCE COMES

Senior Year of College/ Summer bucket List

With College coming to an end swiftly I have a few things I want to do and begin to take seriously:

• Internship: I know this is going to be very important for my career, but more importantly I want to begin to gain more experience in my field of work. I want to find one that pays and also one that I can eventually turn into a full time job.
•  redecorate my dorm
• Save money
• 
  

Memory Lane

A trip that one does not dare venture to. It's the trip that makes you either regret decisions or become a stronger person. In my case i have a tendency to remember key people in my life who really changed my outlook on life. Those people could be good friends or they could be guys that you try to forget about. But there is always that one that will always be in your heart no matter what the future may bring. In your mind you know that you two have been through a lot and that at one point in time he meant the world to you. But that point in your own personal history was meant to remain in the past, during a time when you were naive and really trying to find your way. But then you remember that, the reason you forgot about them.

Only Time Can Tell

Over the past few weeks, I've had time to think and consider a lot of alternatives to my personal love life. For years, I always thought I needed someone to be there for me, to love me, to cherish me, but those fairy tales only happen in the movies and will never be reality, at least not for me.

I have dreams of getting married and having children. I have every detail right down to the exact color of my dress in mind. The only problem is I have no idea who will step up, be a man and fill the largest position in my dreams.

I set my expectations high for a reason. I want my guy to be just as ambitious and set for life as I am. I dont want to be picky and I do not want to him to worry about financial stability or anything except taking care of me and his children. How hard is that to find?

Slavery and my history

After paying a lot of attention in my Western Civilization class I have a lot of follow up questions. Today we discussed the civil war and it's impact on American culture, history, and pretty much the roles that everyone played. From the notes that I took today I have broken these people into four different categories:

• ABOLITIONISTS
• NORTHERNERS
• SOUTHERNERS 
• SLAVES

The Abolitionists to my understanding were very vocal in the North, they were able to recognize a violation of American Principle. However, they were strictly for freedom not necessarily Equality.

Northerners were the bulk of the Union, they believed that the abolitionists were radical in their thinking. Southerners feared the Abolitionists, they were scared at the fact the abolitionists would encourage an uproar or rebellion of the slaves. Southerners were gaining riches off the Slaves. Which brings me to my next point. The Slaves, for the majority amount of people living in the south, the possessed the least amount of power. 

Naturally before the Civil War even transpired, the American Revolution led to the adaption of the Declaration of Independence. The very first line of this document will read, "All men are created Equal". Unfortunately, this line did not apply to the African slaves or Native Americans. With the xenophobic (fear of new people) embedded in the mindset of the white men, Slavery was a hot topic for debate once the Civil War erupted. 

How did my ancestors survive this? Did they try to flee and if so to which state?

With such harsh conditions that my ancestors and many African-Americans like mine had to endure for such a long period of time, how did they manage. Of course, the obvious answer would be, by simply obeying the rules. My Grandfather is from Mississippi, which is the centerfold of the most aggressive methods of slavery and Jim crow laws, still makes me beg the question, how did the people who came before him learn to live through such torment and torture with such hope in their hearts. 

Its Almost time

16 years ago I'd give anything to have a ball in my hand and shoot hoops. Now its become more of an "unwanted Christmas gift" as my ethics teacher would put it. I used to love throwing on a pair of basketball shorts and shoes and playing a game or two with the neighbor hood children or my family members.

I remember the way my dad used to push me and drag me to every practice up until I became old enough to take myself. I remember how much I did not want to go, not knowing where it would take me. I even remember the look on my parents faces when I told them I had recieved a full ride scholarship to play college basketball. Unfortunately, all of my enthusiasm has some how faded and this sport has turned into more of a dreaded chore. I have forgotten how to love it. I have forgotten how to gain my confidence back. I have forgotten why it used to make me smile. Have I out grown it? Or have I forgotten who I am?

seems as if every game, every practice this year alone has been either days that I honestly want to forget. I honestly thought I was growing closer to my team when in fact I feel like the outcast. The outcast in my own doubts, confusion, lack of confidence, and lack of heart.

Once upon a time, I had huge dreams of becoming an all-star, of playing against the best, of being the BEST. Some how I have forgotten what that feels like or better yet, what that actually means. When I was at home I used to stare at my trophies all day and reminise on how great I played and how I contributed to winning that award. Those days have gone away and so has my spirit.

Maybe it is best to leave my past behind me.

Cotton

King Cotton

I am African- American. I come from a background of European, Native American, but my dominant nationality is African- American. Being African- American has its ups and downs. My ancestors did have the brightest or happiest history. However, without their struggle I would not be alive today.

During the 18^th and 19^th century, as described in my textbook, North American was evolving into an Industrial Society. This industrialization era consisted of a transformation of just using agrarian approach of life to an era of using machine manufacturing. This turnpike in history was the beginning of a lot of utilizing a lot of new things: coal, Iron, steel, steam, but more importantly cotton. Iron was important for creating the machines but steel was important for making them sturdy. Steam was innovative for the use of transportation and energy (steamboat, and steam engine), simply by mixing burning coal with boiling water. But the most useful item in this era was cotton. This resource was great for the making of clothing because it was cheap however the labor needed to pick the crop from the ground was inexcusable.

Cotton was the key source for the economy to thrive in the southern states of the United States. Some of the locals would call it “gold”. However this crop was became a crucial piece in what later became known as the “Second Middle Passage” for the African slaves that has to harvest the crop. As one may recall the infamous Middle Passage of the 1500’s until the late 1800’s that left, “At least 2 million Africans--10 to 15 percent” (1) dead, the thriving resource of cotton became a suspect in the substantially equivalent “second Middle Passage”.

In order for cotton to be of any use to anyone in the 19^th century, there had to be someone to harvest the crop. The demand for the product became prevalent when the industrialization period brought forth machinery that could assist the workers in the factories. The cheapest way to mass produce this crop was to enforce slave labor. Slave labor consisted of people working against their will, for little to no pay, and under the strict control of slave masters who had complete control of their freedoms.

The 19^th century did not leave any happy memories in the eyes of my ancestors. For they were apart of the “10-16 million people” who were brought here to fulfill the needs of southern citizens and their economic desires. In 2015, those scars from the brutal past of slavery have not healed. In fact we are still living in society where our true calling has not been truly defined. Just as my African- American ancestors became a component of the evolution of life in the United States, I play apart in the outcome of my generation’s own future.

References

Digital History (2014). The Middle Passage. Retrieved : 12 January 2014. Website http://www.digitalhistory.uh.edu/disp_textbook.cfm?smtID=2&psid=3034

Believe it and Achieve It

Believe it and Achieve it

For as long as I can remember, I have dreamed about the day that I would become a full time adult. Not an adult living in her parents home, working a minimum wage job but an adult who successfully completed college with two or three degrees, a nice home, and a nice car, and a really nice job. Now the time is coming where these ambitions will be met.  but the trouble comes from figuring out where to start. 

As for the education part, I will pretty much have that part covered by next year, 2016. I will have my bachelor's degree in Business Communication. That I believe is a solid start to where I want to be. I want more than just a scroll to define my credibility in the working world. I want to be able to have the resources, references, and basic job qualifications for it as well. Now with my degree, I want my primary focus to be on mainly Public Relations and/or Media Law. Both careers will suit me nicely. The next step in my progression to becoming an adult is determining where I want to live.

I have several places in mind, based off of income, location, environment, etc.

1.  Los Angeles, CA
2.  New York City, New York
3.  San Jose, CA
4.  Long Beach, CA
5.  Dallas, Texas
6.  Atlanta Georgia.

It is to my understanding that I have chosen well known and expensive cities. However I know that by living in those places I would become extremely successful. I love the city life. I always have. i know that i can gain a lot of connections in my choice of career. I also know that there is always something happening in those places. 

Eventually I will make my decision.

Let my heart Speak

Sometimes its not the just the person that puts you in that mood that's hard to get out of, sometimes its the feeling you get when you are around them. Its been a few years since I can honestly say I have slowed my emotions down for one person. There were times before when I tried to open up that side of me to people who did not deserve that happiness. I was always the type to say, I do not need a man to make my heart freeze. Instead I have always dreamed of a person to change my heart and mind. Rushing things like that can cause major destruction. Attention seeking is an understatement, feeling loved and appreciated is the feeling that I crave most of all.
Every time I look in the mirror I see a woman who has seen a lot of pretenders and people who pretend to deserve her heart and time. but how can one person make me feel so full of emotion and love.
 I have to let NATURE take its COURSE!