Senior Year of College/ Summer bucket List

With College coming to an end swiftly I have a few things I want to do and begin to take seriously:

• Internship: I know this is going to be very important for my career, but more importantly I want to begin to gain more experience in my field of work. I want to find one that pays and also one that I can eventually turn into a full time job.
•  redecorate my dorm
• Save money
• 
  

Memory Lane

A trip that one does not dare venture to. It's the trip that makes you either regret decisions or become a stronger person. In my case i have a tendency to remember key people in my life who really changed my outlook on life. Those people could be good friends or they could be guys that you try to forget about. But there is always that one that will always be in your heart no matter what the future may bring. In your mind you know that you two have been through a lot and that at one point in time he meant the world to you. But that point in your own personal history was meant to remain in the past, during a time when you were naive and really trying to find your way. But then you remember that, the reason you forgot about them.

Only Time Can Tell

Over the past few weeks, I've had time to think and consider a lot of alternatives to my personal love life. For years, I always thought I needed someone to be there for me, to love me, to cherish me, but those fairy tales only happen in the movies and will never be reality, at least not for me.

I have dreams of getting married and having children. I have every detail right down to the exact color of my dress in mind. The only problem is I have no idea who will step up, be a man and fill the largest position in my dreams.

I set my expectations high for a reason. I want my guy to be just as ambitious and set for life as I am. I dont want to be picky and I do not want to him to worry about financial stability or anything except taking care of me and his children. How hard is that to find?

Slavery and my history

After paying a lot of attention in my Western Civilization class I have a lot of follow up questions. Today we discussed the civil war and it's impact on American culture, history, and pretty much the roles that everyone played. From the notes that I took today I have broken these people into four different categories:

• ABOLITIONISTS
• NORTHERNERS
• SOUTHERNERS 
• SLAVES

The Abolitionists to my understanding were very vocal in the North, they were able to recognize a violation of American Principle. However, they were strictly for freedom not necessarily Equality.

Northerners were the bulk of the Union, they believed that the abolitionists were radical in their thinking. Southerners feared the Abolitionists, they were scared at the fact the abolitionists would encourage an uproar or rebellion of the slaves. Southerners were gaining riches off the Slaves. Which brings me to my next point. The Slaves, for the majority amount of people living in the south, the possessed the least amount of power. 

Naturally before the Civil War even transpired, the American Revolution led to the adaption of the Declaration of Independence. The very first line of this document will read, "All men are created Equal". Unfortunately, this line did not apply to the African slaves or Native Americans. With the xenophobic (fear of new people) embedded in the mindset of the white men, Slavery was a hot topic for debate once the Civil War erupted. 

How did my ancestors survive this? Did they try to flee and if so to which state?

With such harsh conditions that my ancestors and many African-Americans like mine had to endure for such a long period of time, how did they manage. Of course, the obvious answer would be, by simply obeying the rules. My Grandfather is from Mississippi, which is the centerfold of the most aggressive methods of slavery and Jim crow laws, still makes me beg the question, how did the people who came before him learn to live through such torment and torture with such hope in their hearts. 

Its Almost time

16 years ago I'd give anything to have a ball in my hand and shoot hoops. Now its become more of an "unwanted Christmas gift" as my ethics teacher would put it. I used to love throwing on a pair of basketball shorts and shoes and playing a game or two with the neighbor hood children or my family members.

I remember the way my dad used to push me and drag me to every practice up until I became old enough to take myself. I remember how much I did not want to go, not knowing where it would take me. I even remember the look on my parents faces when I told them I had recieved a full ride scholarship to play college basketball. Unfortunately, all of my enthusiasm has some how faded and this sport has turned into more of a dreaded chore. I have forgotten how to love it. I have forgotten how to gain my confidence back. I have forgotten why it used to make me smile. Have I out grown it? Or have I forgotten who I am?

seems as if every game, every practice this year alone has been either days that I honestly want to forget. I honestly thought I was growing closer to my team when in fact I feel like the outcast. The outcast in my own doubts, confusion, lack of confidence, and lack of heart.

Once upon a time, I had huge dreams of becoming an all-star, of playing against the best, of being the BEST. Some how I have forgotten what that feels like or better yet, what that actually means. When I was at home I used to stare at my trophies all day and reminise on how great I played and how I contributed to winning that award. Those days have gone away and so has my spirit.

Maybe it is best to leave my past behind me.

Cotton

King Cotton

I am African- American. I come from a background of European, Native American, but my dominant nationality is African- American. Being African- American has its ups and downs. My ancestors did have the brightest or happiest history. However, without their struggle I would not be alive today.

During the 18^th and 19^th century, as described in my textbook, North American was evolving into an Industrial Society. This industrialization era consisted of a transformation of just using agrarian approach of life to an era of using machine manufacturing. This turnpike in history was the beginning of a lot of utilizing a lot of new things: coal, Iron, steel, steam, but more importantly cotton. Iron was important for creating the machines but steel was important for making them sturdy. Steam was innovative for the use of transportation and energy (steamboat, and steam engine), simply by mixing burning coal with boiling water. But the most useful item in this era was cotton. This resource was great for the making of clothing because it was cheap however the labor needed to pick the crop from the ground was inexcusable.

Cotton was the key source for the economy to thrive in the southern states of the United States. Some of the locals would call it “gold”. However this crop was became a crucial piece in what later became known as the “Second Middle Passage” for the African slaves that has to harvest the crop. As one may recall the infamous Middle Passage of the 1500’s until the late 1800’s that left, “At least 2 million Africans--10 to 15 percent” (1) dead, the thriving resource of cotton became a suspect in the substantially equivalent “second Middle Passage”.

In order for cotton to be of any use to anyone in the 19^th century, there had to be someone to harvest the crop. The demand for the product became prevalent when the industrialization period brought forth machinery that could assist the workers in the factories. The cheapest way to mass produce this crop was to enforce slave labor. Slave labor consisted of people working against their will, for little to no pay, and under the strict control of slave masters who had complete control of their freedoms.

The 19^th century did not leave any happy memories in the eyes of my ancestors. For they were apart of the “10-16 million people” who were brought here to fulfill the needs of southern citizens and their economic desires. In 2015, those scars from the brutal past of slavery have not healed. In fact we are still living in society where our true calling has not been truly defined. Just as my African- American ancestors became a component of the evolution of life in the United States, I play apart in the outcome of my generation’s own future.

References

Digital History (2014). The Middle Passage. Retrieved : 12 January 2014. Website http://www.digitalhistory.uh.edu/disp_textbook.cfm?smtID=2&psid=3034

Believe it and Achieve It

Believe it and Achieve it

For as long as I can remember, I have dreamed about the day that I would become a full time adult. Not an adult living in her parents home, working a minimum wage job but an adult who successfully completed college with two or three degrees, a nice home, and a nice car, and a really nice job. Now the time is coming where these ambitions will be met.  but the trouble comes from figuring out where to start. 

As for the education part, I will pretty much have that part covered by next year, 2016. I will have my bachelor's degree in Business Communication. That I believe is a solid start to where I want to be. I want more than just a scroll to define my credibility in the working world. I want to be able to have the resources, references, and basic job qualifications for it as well. Now with my degree, I want my primary focus to be on mainly Public Relations and/or Media Law. Both careers will suit me nicely. The next step in my progression to becoming an adult is determining where I want to live.

I have several places in mind, based off of income, location, environment, etc.

1.  Los Angeles, CA
2.  New York City, New York
3.  San Jose, CA
4.  Long Beach, CA
5.  Dallas, Texas
6.  Atlanta Georgia.

It is to my understanding that I have chosen well known and expensive cities. However I know that by living in those places I would become extremely successful. I love the city life. I always have. i know that i can gain a lot of connections in my choice of career. I also know that there is always something happening in those places. 

Eventually I will make my decision.

Let my heart Speak

Sometimes its not the just the person that puts you in that mood that's hard to get out of, sometimes its the feeling you get when you are around them. Its been a few years since I can honestly say I have slowed my emotions down for one person. There were times before when I tried to open up that side of me to people who did not deserve that happiness. I was always the type to say, I do not need a man to make my heart freeze. Instead I have always dreamed of a person to change my heart and mind. Rushing things like that can cause major destruction. Attention seeking is an understatement, feeling loved and appreciated is the feeling that I crave most of all.
Every time I look in the mirror I see a woman who has seen a lot of pretenders and people who pretend to deserve her heart and time. but how can one person make me feel so full of emotion and love.
 I have to let NATURE take its COURSE!