Never perfect

Morning, noon, night , I am granted the opportunity to look at myself in a glass objects. Every moment that I do I receive the same sensation. I am happy. I feel as though I needed to give myself time to grow. As a young girl, I never thought that I was pretty or as the guys would say "cute". I was a bit above average because of my height. I have always towered over my peers and friends. For a moment I was thin with no shape.As a mature adult, I have developed my womenly parts that I felt were much needed a while ago and now I think i took them for granted. I thought they were toys meant for amusement. Wrong as I was, i let people take advantage of my gifts and made acquire talents that are shameful. I still look in the mirror. This time I am able to smile because my smile is not perfect, but special. Everytime, I feel it creep across my face,I know that everything will be fine. My eyes tell a different story. Depending on the circumstance each line they write has a flow to

Sometimes I wish

Sometimes I wish I didn't have a heart

Sometimes I wish I didn't care so much 

Sometimes I wish I couldn't cry

Sometimes I wish I was stronger than I show

Sometimes I wish my heart couldn't break

Sometimes I wish I wasn't alone

Sometimes I wish I didn't trust so easily

Sometimes I wish I didnt cry so much at night 

Sometimes I wish it didn't hurt so bad

Sometimes I wish someone truly loved me 

You Do not Deserve me

Heartbreak after heart break, tear after tear, scream after scream , I still manage to stand strong and tough. i still manage to see the bright side in things. Sometimes I wish i was not capable of always being positive. Sometimes I wish I could lash out and just loose it and not have people worry about me. Especially when it is necessary.
 I just do not understand how someone could honestly stab me in the back the way people have done to me. I am honestly the nicest most loyal person ever. I am true to my friends and those i consider to be more than that or have the potential to be. I just do not understand how any just person could take that small bit of kindness and take advantage of it like it means absolutely nothing.
I mean at this point in life I have high expectations of people acting like rational adults about situations that can easily be handled. Like if i am not what you want or I am not good enough tell me. Showing pure signs of disrespect is intolerable in my opinion. On the other hand it does help me develop thick skin and a wiser mentality about people. I refuse to be walked over or stepped on or used. I refuse to a convenience for anyone I have higher standards then that.
Once again, I accept an appology that is not pure or genuine or real. I accepted Satan before i opened my heart to the Lord.

Until my Prince comes

Now I am not one for sappy romances or fake fairy tales that wont come true, but I do still believe in falling in love. I believe in the butterflies in your stomach and getting all choked up inside. I believe in the love being true and pure and long lasting. I believe in feeling that your partner is willing to get to know you inside and out and truly understand the woman I am and who I am capable of becoming, I believe in that person who can be my support but not my crutch, someone I can really count on to always be there. Someone who believes in my dreams and believes in creating new ones. I believe in waking up to the most perfect smile God ever created every morning for the rest of life. I believe in getting married and always remembering the value and the honest true meaning of the word. I believe in sharing a child with him. I believe in raising our offspring side-by-side, spending every waking moment with our children, a boy or girl. until they are old enough to take care of themselves. I believe in seeing each other growing old and never truly losing the love that brought us together in the first place. I believe in writing and creating our own memories and making sure that thy will not be forgotten. That the story of our love will be passed on to our children so the feeling never dies. And when the day comes that God calls us to him, I still believe being put to rest 6 feet under right near your resting place.


I WILL BE WAITING UNTIL MY PRINCE COMES