Breathless

Impaired, my voice cannot stop trembling
I cannot even bair to move
A chest pump , that I might need
See me as I am, dream
Make me see that there iws more to life
Then the one I chose to live alone
Sometimes life takes a stand
Where the stand is only frozen still
But that is the only reason for me to have grown
Have I forgotten, what it feels like
To grasp for air when I hear you speak
Oxygen, is not nearly enough to keep this heart beating
to the rhythm your are playing with my mind
My words lost in the bubble of speech
Because they are stuck in the world
That is supposed to be right.
But you heard me, little ole me
You heard the voice, they is wrong.
You made my world bright even if the blind awoke with sight

How Can You?

Mind-games are child's play
They should be left in the blind side
Never play the role you are not prepared for
Although it is tempting

To think a heart is a toy
That you can place on the highest shelf
And hold when you please
Do not be my dream if you are not ready
Take back your kiss
If it will only bring back pain
To a world you once knew

Never tear the wings off the back of an angel
If you ask her to fly
Fly, solo, alone, and helpless
Crossing paths with what is right
Will always force you to choose wrong
Your mouth whispers lies
Only to shield your soul from the truth

But who are you to tell me I deserve much better
What if everything I prayed to the Lord for
Awaits behind your eyes
After all they are said to be the Window
To whatever is left of a soul.

How should I feel?'

There comes a time in life when you are placed at a cross-roads, a place where you have no idea where either one of those roads leads or where it will take you. For so long I have had my mind set on what I wanted in life that I almost forgot what I needed.

Water
Food
Shelter

I have all of that. But what about Maslow's Hierarchy of needs. The needs that are required for me to feel whole or better yet human. I can honestly say I am failing miserably at one of those things. that category is the Love and Belonging stage. I mean as far as my family and my friends I have more than enough. I can feel their support with every decision I make even if it is not the best. but then there is the question of how I can I possibly be failing when I the majority of the stage is filled?

Relationships, Relationships, RE LA TION SHIPS .  That word makes me filled with a ton of mixed emotions. Its almost as if I have been thrown into a maze and I am second guessing every decision I make. I know I have heard this a thousand and one times that I need to concentrate on me and what makes me happy. But what if what makes me happy is the fact that I know someone is their to truly watch me succeed, someone to make all my bad memories disappear as if they never existed. Someone to show me that there truly is a rainbow where the rain once was. That maybe if I let go of the past that I will be able to find true happiness.

But at this point as if I am just settling. Settling because I am afraid of hurting someones feelings, I am afraid of feeling as if I tore someone's world apart when my world was never whole to begin with. I am settling because I am afraid of walking this hard path to my destiny alone. Am I that defiant that I truly will not listen to the will of God. And understand that he has crafted the proper path for me to follow and be successful.

when one door closes another one opens

Up until this point, I have experienced rejection from a lot of companies that I really wanted to work for. I admired their marketing, internal communication, the atmosphere that each business has really captured may attention. As a graduating college student, the amount of experience that these companies are expecting seems almost impossible to meet due to the amount of time that has been available during my academic career.

I was able however to gain important assets during my time at school. I was able to learn the tools, basic and complex that are needed to truly understand my career. I have recently become successful and found an internship to add to my resume. I have a specific approach to the usage of an internship. I want it to be essential to truly having a hands on experience in the field.

Personal Statement

“Dreams are true, while they last, and do we not live in dreams?” (Alfred Lord Tennyson- 1869).

As a young child it is easy to dream of what you want to be and where you want to go during a lifetime. But once you’ve reached the age where that dreaming has to become a reality you must not sit still. As the conclusion of my academic career draws near, the best advice I can bestow upon anyone who reaches my portfolio is to never stop dreaming or better yet, NEVER BE LESS THEN YOUR DREAMS

And the Truth comes out

I remember all the events of my life, ALL OF THEM even the ones that I wish never happened. I remember my first friend, I remember the first day of school (elementary, middle, high school, and even college) I remember falling in love for the first time, I remember my first kiss, even my first time. All of those first led to so many other things. The hardest part is learning which of all your endeavors you want to relive, which to regret, and which to forget.
 The memories that serve a special meaning in my life. Like meeting my little brother for the first time or meeting my first roommate . Those are special times that still make me smile to this day. Although they were years ago, I still have a reason to keep them in the back of my mind. They are thoughts I intend to cherish for the rest of my life.

Aside from the good memories there are also those thoughts that I try to put and keep behind me. Everyone at some point and time goes through those reckless stages. Unfortunately, my reckless stage began my junior year in high school and ended my sophomore year of college. During that time, I thought that my body was the only way for guys to notice me or pay any attention to me.  At the time I thought it was the only way for me to be seen. I let guys take advantage of what I had to offer. I'll be even more brutally honest. I thought it was there way of showing their affection. However, I was wrong. They took my kindness for weakness. But who am i to point to the finger when I let it happen. I let them in. It became essentially an addiction. Almost like a drug. To the point where it seemed like there was no going back from it. And as a result I earned myself that "label". Every day I would look in the mirror and find myself questioning who I was. Was i the little girl that my parents tried to raise to be Godly, and respect and love her body? Or had I turned into a creature that was consumed in her own irrational obsession with the sensual side that made me human?

Even when I try to bury those hidden agendas deep in the past.They some how find ways to resurface. And just like everything that I do, good or bad, I will have to live with the decisions and choices that I make.

Web design Help

I am in need of help with my Portfolio website. I have my ideas fabricated on paper and in my mind but I cannot seem to get my ideas from paper and my head to Dreamweaver. i love the software do not get me wrong, but as far as the layout and composition goes I cannot seem to get things where I want them to go. I want to be original and not use a "Build-a-website" tool. I want to start physically from scratch and learn the material. I want to be able to put that I can use Dream Weaver and actually have a product to display for big businesses

The Title : TO BE DETERMINED

Content: 

• writing
• photography
• videography
• blogging (of course) :)
• my resume
• my contact info

I want my website to display my individuality and my personality all on one page.


IF ANYONE CAN ASSIST ME ! I WOULD APPRECIATE IT!!!